How did this white woman + black man relations trend start ? and why is the vice versa less common ?
It would be easy to say this is just breaking barriers. But its not that simple.
In my community i don’t notice many black women and white men dating. However every so often I come accross a couple of a white woman and a black man.
In fact, very often, its the most notorious guy in the neighbourhood that has a white girlfriend.
Why ?
Why is a relation of a white woman and a black man, more common than vice versa ?
Black man/white woman is more common for a lot of reasons:
-Black men are probably the most aggressive I’ve seen as far as pursuing who they are interested in, white women probably second. Black women are among the least aggressive, and part of that is just being socialized as women that men should approach women. I see a lot of black women interested in men, including white guys, but they insist the guy has to come to them. Less white women do this, and this has largely become more of a cultural difference than a gender difference. With white men not being as aggressive as black men or white women, combined with the extra racial issues when a white guy is interested in a black woman (not even just racism, but more like “whoa, how do I approach a black woman??” or “I heard black women only like black men…I’ll probably get rejected”), that leaves a lot of black women waiting forever and ever for an approach that is not forthcoming
-Like some others have suggested, black men view white women as a prize and a step up in society. Black women don’t view white men quite the same way, usually. You say the most “notorious” guy usually has a white girlfriend. My observation has actually been that the more money a black guy has or obviously will have some day, the more you can just about bank on his having a white, Asian or Latina female on his arm. With other black guys, you might see them in interracial relationships, but it seems less likely just because–and this might seem offensive, but–the average white woman cares about money in a man a little too much to be dating guys, especially a black one, who doesn’t have much and because black guys with less money tend to be in predominantly black environments (making it more likely he’ll get with a black female) more than black guys with money.
If you don’t believe me, sit and take account of black male celebrities (including athletes) who have non-black girlfriends or wives and ones who actually have a black woman. With these black guys, having a non-black female is another sign he has “made it” in America–honestly, the same is true for Asians and Latinos. And even if a black guy starts out with a black woman, if he has money or once he gets it, you can bet he’ll either leave for a non-black woman or he’s going to have an affair with one (or more). I’m waiting on Obama’s @ss to do it, haha. As far as what I said about white women and money, again, it’s just a cultural difference. White girls are more often taught growing up to find someone “who can take care of them.” Black women are not taught that, on average.
I’m not sure how to explain why the same is not true for black women, i.e. the prize/step up thing. Some of it might be history, some of it just the difference between how men value mates and how women do, some of it being how women experience more crap in society regardless of race. In terms of history, when we hear about all the bad things that happen, black women notice it’s usually a white man behind it…including things like slavery and raping black female workers. As far as values…very hard to explain, but one thing is that men have always emphasized (lighter) skin color in preferencing people; women do it less, it seems, and look at more practical things in mates. Discrimination–women tend to want someone whom they feel can relate to them and understand them. The average black female doesn’t feel white men can do that because there is a huge privilege/life experiences gap there. The gap is smaller between black men and white women–both experience discrimination to the point where it’s the norm in their lives, so white women can empathize with and somewhat compare to black men.
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